According to “Twilight” author Stephanie Meyer does. “Rolling on the fucking floor, laughing my fucking head off” is pretty much how I felt when I read the following at The Envelope. Meyer deserves far more than a cultural demerit.

“Meyer “realizes that the hope of Twilight” getting Oscar respect may have the blood drained out of it by the fact that this is a vampire romance and it’s basically aimed at teens,” according to Entertainment Weekly, but “when they see the movie — oh, my gosh — there’s no way not to love him!” Good lord.

Nanette Burstein, director of the Sundance favourite “American Teen” and the Oscar nominated “On the Ropes,” has signed up to direct her first feature film titled “Going the Distance,” written by neophyte (former New Line script reader) Geoff LaTulippe who said he came up with the idea for the film after partaking in an old fashioned night of binge drinking and getting trashed, “The essential story is that the couple knows that the long-distance relationship is probably a bad idea but they like each other too much to stop.” So, LaTulippe basically read tons of scripts and got wasted, and then wrote his own screenplay without major representation? Sounds like a plan I might duplicate myself. [EW]

“Slumdog Millionaire,” apparently one of the best films of the year, was once going to be a direct-to-DVD release. I know, right? A profile of Danny Boyle in the LA Times stated, “Just as filming wrapped, U.S. distributor Warner Independent Pictures was shut down by Warner Bros., and the parent studio briefly considered releasing “Slumdog Millionaire” straight to video before Fox Searchlight came to the film’s rescue.” Imagine that? “Slumdog” opens today in select regions of the US. [The Playlist]

The big screen arrival of “Monopoly,” based on the most overrated board game of all time, is coming sooner than I’d hoped. Ridley Scott is now officially attached and will try to please the “built in” audience for the film as well as giving others something extra, adding a futuristic essence to the film. How the hell this is going to play out beats me. [THR]

Todd Solondz’s follow up of sorts to his “Palindromes,” that will involve characters from his “Happiness” and perhaps “Welcome to the Dollhouse” too, that was once titled “Life During Wartime,” as it is about family life set against the backdrop of war, but is now listed as “Untitled Todd Solondz Project” has overcome financial issues thanks to the production company Werc Werk Works.

Also, it has an interesting cast to boot. Paul “Pee Wee” Ruebens will play the role of Andy (played by Jon Lovitz in “Happiness,” Michael Kenneth Williams will play Allen (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Ciaran Hinds will play Bill (originally played by Dylan Baker) and Shirley Henderson will play Joy taking over Jane Adams’ role. Allison Janney, Charlotte Rampling, Paris Hilton, Taylor, Michael Lerner, Chane’t Johnson, Eric Wareheim, and Chris Marquette are also attached. [SpoutBlog and THR]

“Gomorrah” producer Domenico Procacci has made the decision to submit the lauded potential Best Foreign Language nominee into other categories too, a la “Life is Beautiful.” While “Gomorrah” isn’t Oscar material the way “Life is Beautiful” was, Procacci says, “I know it’s a long shot, but I think the film deserves it,” and you know what? I agree with him, as does Martin Scorsese who thinks it’s “great,” “Gomorrah” is one of the best foreign language films I have seen all year and even if his submissions aren’t exactly fruitful, at least he tried. “Gomorrah” will now play in select US cities in December. [Variety]

Mickey Rourke and his dirty mouth…something the Academy do not approve of, tsk tsk. After dropping the f-bomb at a Hollywood nightclub with regards to false reports circulating that he is dating Evan Rachel Wood (now that she has broken up the Satan incarnate, hopefully people will realise that she may have a tiny bit of self-respect and taste left), Rourke has now apologized. Too late dude, with all the Prop 8 crap going on, you’d think a guy on the shortlist for Oscar glory after an entirely worthless career spanning decades would have a little more common sense. But, then again, he is only human. Watch the clip below, even if it ain’t the biggest news ever and Rourke will still get his Oscar nomination, hopefully he learns a valuable lesson or something. [E!]